


One More Light

by orphan_account



Category: PewDiePie - Fandom, pewdieken - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Love, M/M, PewdieKen - Freeform, bxb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 23:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14531352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Felix; the boy who wants to live. Kenneth; the boy who wants to die.Ken is lost. He feels as if no one truly cares about his well-being. Then at midnight, he was certain this would be his final suicide attempt. When he was revived, he became angry and unforgiving towards the fact that he will be on suicide watch at the hospital. He thought three months would take forever to pass until he meets a cancer patient named Felix, who will make these months go by faster than expected.





	1. Chapter 1

"We're losing him!"

"Clear!"

"We have a pulse,"

My body jolts as the electric currents take over my limp figure. I lay on the stretcher with my eyes heavy weighted. My breathing grew weak. My arms wrapped in gauze though the bleeding hasn't stopped yet.

I know this is the end. I could feel it in my heart, my bones, and my soul. Though this is my fifth suicide attempt somehow I know this will be my last.

Why should I kill myself? I have a mother who loves me more than any other and the coolest dad who doesn't care about my imperfections. My life as a seventeen-year-old is set with the greatest parents anyone could ever ask for.

Truth be told, the enemy lives in my own head.

I dropped out of high school because of my anxiety. I don't leave my house because of anxiety and depression has prevented all greater opportunities to come my way.

Hence, suicide.

-

I opened my eyes and noticed the odors running up my sensitive nostrils: rubbing alcohol, blood, and a mixture of something I couldn't put my finger on. I looked down and saw my arms are still wrapped and an I.V catheter was inserted in my hand.

I know this place all too well. I'm in a room where I am surrounded by several other patients who are recovering from surgery. Each patient is separated by disgustingly stained curtains. The feeling of disappointment succumbed me due to the fact that I'm okay and breathing.

"Fuck this. Fuck everything!" I begin to clench my fists until they started to ache.

Suddenly, my rage was interrupted when I realized the curtain wasn't closed between me and the patient to my left. An oxygen mask covered his mouth and his hair was in a beanie. His eyes were closing, looking red from previously crying. He was obviously losing consciousness, obviously due to the anesthesia.

"Ken? Are you alright?" I heard my mom's voice to my right. She opened her arms and held me tight. I looked at her with half-lidded eyes.

"Why didn't you let me die?" I whispered.

"Because, Ken, I'm not letting you go," She looks down. "This is the fifth time you tried to end your own precious life and now I'm sick of it,"

I sat up and felt remarkably confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked. She sighed.

"Sweetie, your father and I can't always be there. And now that you want to relentlessly end your life, we set up a plan with the hospital," She looks down and I cocked my head to the right. What is she talking about?

"What kind of plan?" I asked, feeling my head throb mercilessly.

"Bare with me," she takes a seat "I signed a contract for you to be on suicide watch for three whole months. You will not be able to go home, play video games, or leave the hospital until those three months are up,"

My eyes widened in horror as her words stabbed through my chest like a million sharpened knives. Is she out of her mind?! Why would she want this for me?

"Wait for a second. Are you telling me I have to stay here all by myself?! Without anyone to be here for me?! Am I at a mental institute or the emergency room?!" I nearly grabbed the hair on my head and tore it off. I feel as if I was going mad.

"Both. The hospital provides services for the mentally unstable and the deteriorating. You'll be here in the emergency room for the night, then you'll need to be transferred to the psych ward," she tried to sound sympathetic but I know she didn't care about me. Does she want to ship me away as if I was some fucking animal?

I was beyond angry until I saw a tear escaping her eye. I don't know why but every time my mom cries, I feel hurt as well. I was instantaneously calmed.

"Where's dad?" I asked. She wiped her tears.

"He's at an important meeting but the both of us will be able to visit you again soon," she smiles. I couldn't help but hug her and weep a little myself.

"I love you mom," My voice cracked. She lets go and gently plants a hand to my cheek.

"I love you too sweety. I'll be back soon," She whispers and lightly kisses my forehead. I watched her as she walked out.

What am I going to do here? I'm all alone and nobody can make me feel as safe as my mom did.

"You know, that was the greatest performance I've ever seen," My body jolted at the sudden voice to my left. It was that guy again.

"W-What are you talking about?" I stuttered. I myself cannot survive small talk. He giggles slightly and sits up.

"I'm talking about that thing you just did there," he cackles and takes off the green mask. I'm beginning to get the feeling he's a complete asshole. I mean look at him: His hair is combed over and looks more like a fuckboy.

"What the hell? I just said goodbye to my mom. I won't be able to see her as much as I used to," I was getting angrier by the second, noticing my heart monitor picking up the pace. He looks down and puts the oxygen mask back on.

"Welcome to the club pal," He nearly whispers. I felt confused and irritated at the same time. What does that even mean? I felt the need to attack him with words.

"I take it you're here because of all the drugs you have taken," I said and I watched his eyes squint.

"You know, I don't take any drugs. I do however smoke weed if that's what you're getting to," he said. This guy is super hard to break, especially with all of the wit he has to offer.

"Fine then, why are you here?" I asked with sheer frustration.

"I throw up my own blood sometimes," he says as the nurses walked into the room with a wheelchair and an oxygen tank. He took off the mask and wrapped a cannula around his head before he sat in the chair.

"I like you, kiddo. Meet me at the oncology department tomorrow at three," He said as they started to wheel him away.

"I don't think I can. I'll be in the psych ward tomorrow," He waved a dismissal hand.

"You are allowed to visit other patients. The only thing you can't do is leave the hospital," he said before he left.

"Okay. Oncology, three o'clock," I said under my breath. I finally have a chance to meet friends.

Then I had a revelation. I have to meet him in oncology?!

Have I been arguing with a cancer patient this whole time?!


	2. Chapter 2

My back aches from the bed I just slept on. I can't believe the staff here when they say it's the best place to die. If I have to die on these beds, I'm not dying.

I was wheeled to the psych ward. I didn't expect it to be so calm here. I guess I could say I watched too many movies that involve too many scary mental asylums. Though it was still and quiet, I could feel the uneasy tension in my core. I felt as if I don't belong here.

They put me in a room alone which only contained nothing but another shitty hospital bed and a nightstand that held an alarm clock and fake flowers. Small, circular windows add to the overall style of the room and obviously have been added to the room in a mostly symmetric way.

And now I sit here and wait.

I heard the door open and in came a very stylish man. He's wearing a simple shirt and left it unbuttoned at the top for a more casual look. On top of the shirt he's wearing a trendy vest with three buttons, it has a very narrow v-line, which allows for a large portion of the top to remain visible, even if the suit's jacket is buttoned up.

"Hello, Kenneth my name is Dr. Fischbach. I'll be your doctor for the next three months," His voice deep yet light at the same time. He reaches out his hand and I shake it timidly. My arm started to throb which made me flinch. He takes a seat.

"I know this experience so far may be different then what you're used to but I will assure you that it'll be a great experience," He said with a smile. I smiled back.

"I will be checking on you every three days. Just to know if you're doing okay or not," He said and I nodded. I think I'll be okay with that. He seems trustworthy.

"Thanks, doctor," I said politely as he walked out.

Later the nurses brought a tray of mashed potatoes, apple juice, and some crackers. I look at the clock and it said three o'clock.

I'm already late!

I panicked and got up right away. I grabbed the tray of food and walked out of the door. The environment seemed careless due to the fact they allowed a mental patient to leave their room without any supervision. I assume it's because I'm only on suicide watch and don't have schizophrenia or anything. I'm not a menace to society but a threat to myself.

I look around for directions of some sort, finding a chart of floors for their designated departments.

**_Oncology - 4th Floor_ **

I hop onto the elevator casual as ever and pressed '4'. The silence was deafening due to a large number of people standing in here.

Finally, I made it to the oncology unit in one piece. Now to find that guys' room. I looked everywhere and there was hardly any staff up here. I could say the atmosphere was a hell of a lot worse than the psych unit.

The fourth floor is smaller than the first, which, in combination with its placement, creates an original look. This floor has a different style than the floor below. I finally found a nurse who was roaming the hallways.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" I caught her attention.

"Yes?"

"Do you know where I could find a cancer patient with dirty blonde hair, really skinny dude?" I asked and she stared at me for a second.

"We have a lot of those here," She said sassily. I felt as if I couldn't think. I can't really do much under pressure.

"Uh-He's kind of an asshole? He wears a beanie," I stumble on my words and looked elsewhere. The nurse's face abruptly transitioned from confused to bright.

"Oh yes! I assume you mean Felix, right? I'll take you to his room," She said lightly. This was a lot easier than expected. We didn't need to walk very far. We stood at the entrance of his room. It was a lot different than my room. Tall, rectangular windows let in plenty of light and have been added to the house in a fairly asymmetrical pattern.

"Young man, you have a visitor," I walked inside. He sat on the covers of his bed with his legs crossed.

"Thanks, Christine. Come in Ken," He said and the nurse walked away. I took a seat in front of him and placed my lunch to the side.

"How do you know my name, Felix?" I asked.

"I got your name from the soap opera you showed me yesterday," He laughed again. I decided I wasn't going to deal with it again so I brushed it off. I couldn't fight with him knowing he has cancer.

"Why didn't you tell me you have cancer?"

"Why? Is it obvious?" He looks down at his body, self consciously covering the cannula with his hands. I moved his hand away from him.

"No, but I know oncology is for cancer patients," I said. He looks down.

"Oh... Right," He whispers to himself. I look at him and notice a hint of sorrow appearing on his face. I started to eat my mashed potatoes. At this point, my lunch was practically freezing yet oddly delicious.

"So, you wanted to take a fast way out of life. Why?" He starts the conversation on a remarkably infuriating note. I couldn't believe he referenced my suicide attempt as if it is some joke. I shake my head in frustration and tried not to ruin my appetite.

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Ah come on. You act like everyone is so oblivious to what is happening around you," He whines. I can't believe he's saying this.

"What are you? Some stalker?!" I raised my voice until I couldn't anymore.

"I observe everything, Ken! Don't act so offended because it's not like I have anything better to do than sit around and watch my whole life pass me by!" He nearly screamed but had to catch his breath later on. He sat back and turned his oxygen levels up.

"I'm sorry Felix. I'm just going through a rough time right now. I'm just so fucking angry and I don't know if I could ever get over this," A single tear dropped from my eye. He rested his hand on my leg and smiled.

"Hey don't get yourself so worked up. Try to enjoy your lunch. You're going to need the fuel," He said and I allowed myself to suppress these awful images in my head. I felt the need to start a conversation.

"Care to share your story?"

"Which one? My cancer story or my life story? Because both are unnecessarily long," He said and I thought for a moment.

"Whichever one makes me convinced that you are not a total asshole," I said and we both shared a chuckle. He paused for a second.

"Well, for starters, I have been diagnosed with lung cancer for seventeen years," he explains.

"And how old are you?" I asked.

"Yesterday was my seventeenth birthday," He smiled. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. No one deserves to live like this. Not even an asshole like him.

Maybe he's not an asshole after all.

"Does that change your mind, Kenny?" He smiles and I nod slightly.

"Maybe," I answer. Out of random he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his sweatpants pocket. I watched in confusion as he opens the window, leans on it, and lights one up with a match. He takes a puff and glances at me.

"Want one?" He stretches his arm out, offering me one. I look at him in a frightful way. I grabbed the smoke from his fingers and killed it with the sink water. His face red with anger as he grabbed my shirt collar tightly.

"Not cool, Ken. Not fucking cool at all," He spat on my face and I pushed him away.

"What the actual fuck?! How are you even able to smoke? You're seventeen years old!"

"They don't care over here, why should you?"

I looked down and felt like a complete idiot. I couldn't say I'm angry. There's no reason why I should be, it's simply his choice. On second thought:

"You have cancer! Not just any cancer; you have lung cancer!"

"Goddammit, Ken! You're not the only one who wants to take a fast way out of life!" He took a seat and started to pant. I took a step back and processed everything. Was he in the emergency room because of smoking and not cancer?! I wasn't the only one trying to end my life.

"That's low Felix. Even for you,"

"Well, you're not any different than me,"


End file.
